'A' for Attitude

What would you choose between a fleeting train of self - doubts amidst a complex situation and a leaping faith within yourself irrespective of the happenings around? How often do you doubt yourself? Do you think faith in oneself is the key ingredient of your success? Read on to find out how Shirin tackles the shaky isles of her self - confidence.

Painting credits: Abhilash_Logan

It was a vivid day with the sun having decided to beam intensively, spreading its glimmering rays over the city whereabouts. Shirin boards off the train and exuberantly waits to see her friend whom she hasn’t seen since a decade. Her eyes immensely twigging on the tall jittery city buildings, busy roads, people with cups full of caffeine in hands walking around, some busy and some enjoying the sun, some dressing up no lesser than fashion week ramp walks and the food joints with the customer service representatives displaying flamboyant smiles as they served and welcomed everyone. She had missed this all. It was a while she hadn’t visited the city.

“Yes its been a while! So nice to have my eyes on you dear city.” She finds herself savouring the view.

Shirin used to visit the city regularly two months ago on the account of working in the city center and she would love the aura of the city. On her way to and fro, she loved watching people dance to their own tunes, some artists and enthusiasts perform on the streets to earn a living, the ardour in the air since the city was always busy, the whiff of hot beverages and the flair of a myriad of lifestyles people lived, some asking for money, some holding boards saying ‘Free Happiness’ offering their free paintings and some walking in Prada and Gucci.

Beautiful Auckland

The city was a secret reservoir of many reality checks and a fairytale for all those who dreamt of those who walked in Prada and Gucci. 

“Something must have surely been a problem with me which is why I was made redundant”, her delightedness suddenly seems to detrude with an air of despair creeping in. Her smile dims as she recalls the day she was asked to leave on the account of organisational cost – cutting with the company not reaping much profits. Since that day, hers self belief quivered like the leaves during a storm as she thought to herself that it wasn’t enough a reason to let her go.

Also, the new boss at work and an assistant lady colleague had developed a harrowing atmosphere at work based on their mood swings and work pressures. She was the most junior person in the office learning her ropes as much as she could with the others being almost ten years senior to her. It was not a typical case of work bullying but considering office juniors a sweet spot for venting out your bad days was definitely not the right attitude at work. She had begun to feel demotivated lately, reason being frequent insults, raised voices and rude comments never apologised for. Her mind drooled to an assumption that she was not a quick learner and was not as good as her seniors.

Disdainfully, she tries to let go that thought and fixes her eyes on the streets with darting people. She spots a face she knew and her excitement fuels back as she sees her friend approaching her equally elevated.

“How have you been!!?!” she squeals in excitement as she lifts Shirin up in her arms and holds her for a few seconds.

“So good to see you after long!” Shirin responds with flushed cheeks and warm hands enveloping hers.

As soon as they start walking towards a coffee shop, her friend clutches her hand tight and exclaims, “Ohh god Shirin! I got so much to tell you! Since the time you left, the office has been a rubbish drain! I so hate the work atmosphere.” her friend sounds demotivated and lets out a sigh of relief on having met Shirin to express herself.

“What’s wrong? You don’t sound okay.” Shirin quotes bewildered sensing her friend’s face turn pale.

“This new boss is such a pain Shirin, he is behind my life now. He made me the accounts manager even when he knew I am still learning and don’t have enough experience on it. Okay, I accept this as a challenge to develop and grow further. He further assigns Miya (the assistant colleague who was a bother to Shirin earlier) as my reporting manager and I just feel like kicking her out of this planet!” her friend’s pitch now raises with fraying nerves.

“What? Why? Why would he do that to you? Okay, anyway, since this is all new to you, is Miya training you on this then?” Shirin sounded pretty puzzled with the overall scenario.

“Nooo! That’s the problem. I thought I will be fine because she would train me on areas, I fall weak but no! She instead pushes the boat out and keeps complaining on how bad I am at my work. Not once but every day! There is no motivation for this role to be honest. Neither does she help me when I get stuck nor does she have a positive attitude towards the fact that I am really new to this role and that I am self – learning”, her friend sounds distressed with her voice quivering even further.

There was a stench of stress in the air. Too much of it. Shirin was speechless and ran out of thoughts to console her.

“Hey look! You will be fine. Take this as a challenge of handling different personalities. You will only grow! Things will be fine soon. Just give it sometime.” Shirin consoles her rubbing her back.

“I do not have a problem with people being hard on me Shirin. The problem is with their attitudes towards work and how they bring down your motivation. At times they all are so kind, the other times they treat you like their slaves. I do not want to work in a place where I am not respected, and I do not know what my day would look like on waking up. I basically do not want to become the target of their mood swings.” It is impacting my confidence levels and the ability to work better. They have forgotten their own days of struggle it seems.” She quotes firmly holding herself up, her gaze fixed at the ground.

“So why don’t you talk to both of them?” Shirin asks trying to set the chords right for her best friend.

“Of course, I told them! You thought I wouldn’t? I took a special meeting with the two separately and told them how their mood swings and constant lash outs are hampering my ability to prove myself. I even told them that bossing over me is okay because you all are seniors but targeting me for ridiculous reasons just because they had a rough day was absolutely wrong!” she explains.

“So, no change?” Shirin questions looking at her hopefully, quite knowing their obvious response.

“Nope, they remained quiet but no change in their attitudes. I feel like I am being bullied for no reason. I plan to put down my papers soon Shirin. I told you, I cannot work at a place where I am not respected.” Her friend sounds unshakeable about her decision.

Shirin smiles as she agrees with her thought process. She starts to feel better with her former thought of doubting herself.

“Absolutely. You shouldn’t be where you are not accepted for what you bring to the table. So, what do you plan to do? I reckon you find another job before quitting this one abruptly. Just a matter of a bit more of patience. I assume you would be doing this?” Shirin reassures and assumes that as a logical leap her best friend would be considering.

“No Shirin. I plan to start something of my own.” her best friend responds as they start walking back dumping their empty coffee cups.

“What?!? Really. Such good news! And what will that be?” Shirin questions startled and awed by her idea and her ability to snap out of such situations so boldly.

“I am thinking of starting my own food truck since I am passionate about food as you know. It's finally time I do something I really love. It will help me grow and reap my productive abilities since I am passionate about it!” her friend’s eyes now filled with contentment as she sounds ecstatic imagining her thoughts come into action. Her face was so readable.

“Oh wow! I am so excited about this. I knew you had it in you! You will do wonders! Please take a go at this and I am super happy for you.” Shirin’s has her heart in her mouth as her words jostle with child-like joy with happiness for her best friend’s good.

They take a walk back to where they met as her best friend has to return to work since it was a working day and it was the lunch break that she was out for to meet Shirin.

There was a pleasant silence between the two. Both rambling on their satisfaction of having decided to take happy leaps. Shirin was now smiling at herself for the amiableness in the air again.

“Shirin, maybe I should name my business, ‘Selling Happiness’, it’s rare and much needed these days!” her best friend chuckles as she hugs Shirin.

“Totally! I agree. I am sure people will be drawn to your food truck by the name of it. People are always drawn to something they lack the most.” Shirin chortles jokingly.

“Yes my dear! Time to go now honey. Thank you for having me. I look forward to seeing you soon.” Her best friend leaves with a warm hug and a long lasting impression on Shirin.

As Shirin boards the train home, she lays her eyes on the city again. Admirably, this time, there is no regret, no grief. She smiles as she lets go her self – doubt and the belief that things not working in favour does not have to mean that there is a problem with oneself. A part within her makes her feel that she was awesome at her work and someone else’s opinions should never let you bring down your sparkle. Also, there is no need for another to validate your own beliefs about something going wrong with you. She loves herself even more this time and promises to love and respect her own beliefs more than anyone else’s opinions about her.

As the train departs, she promises the city to pay a visit soon, the next time, happily of having left a toxic part of her life back, happy that it happened for her good, happy that she would never regret of having lost something that brought down her guard.

People do not leave because work life becomes a stern teacher, people leave because of the wrong attitudes of their mentors. 

What do you think? Let me know in the comments.